Final Project Remix: Could You Be an Angry Feminist?

 Have you ever wondered what it takes to be an "angry feminist?" Look no further, I've got your comprehensive guide right here! Read on for the answer to your burning questions...

First things first, are you a woman?

If the answer is "no," then sorry, you can't be an angry Feminist. Good news though, you can still be a feminist! (Yes, men can be feminists too.) The bad news is: the preferred vernacular for you, especially among other men, would be "egalitarian." You can call yourself a feminist, but your credibility after that point will take a significant hit. If you go with the label of "egalitarian" then people will take you much more seriously because they don't know that "egalitarian" is just a fancy sounding word for believing in equal rights for everybody. What they really don't need to know is that "feminist" is just a dirty different word for believing in equal rights for everybody. Whoops, I let the cat out of the bag. Yes, egalitarianism and feminism are pretty much the same thing. Egalitarianism is just a more palatable word to use with people who are still influenced by the patriarchy enough to wince at the very thought of the word "feminist." Trust me men, your feminist beliefs will get a lot more traction when they're disguised by the label of egalitarianism.

Hmmm sounds so reasonable...

This sounds so familiar, but it's got the prefix "fem" in it: it must be an attack on men!

If the answer is "yes," then great! You're a great candidate for being an "angry feminist." See my next question to find out if you've got what it really takes.

Do you already consider yourself a feminist?

If your answer is yes:

Congratulations! You're an "angry feminist". The patriarch has already instilled the mythos of the "angry feminist" into a large portion of the population with which you will come into contact. The term "angry feminist" is an oppressive characterization of feminists which has been set into place by the patriarchy to discredit feminism and makes lots of people automatically assume you're an "angry feminist" if you speak up for things like equal pay, a woman's right to control what she does to her own body (or what she won't allow others to do to it), equal distribution of domestic chores between genders...woops, sorry, my angry feminism is showing. Let me just shove that back under the label of egalitarianism. Phew, that's better, huh?

If your answer is no:

Do you believe in equal rights for all people?

If the answer is yes: 
Congratulations! You're a feminist! Shhh, it's okay. Don't fight it. You're a feminist. Just accept it.

If the answer is "no," I don't really know what to do with you. Why are you even still reading this?

Now my last and most important question for you is:

Are you a woman who is outspoken and/or fed up enough to start defending your and or other women's right to equality? Further, are you "brave" enough to defend these rights for all people regardless of their race or ethnicity, how much money they have, or who they choose to love?

If your answer is yes:

Oof, I don't know how to tell you this but you're a shameful angry feminist. You should probably calm down. Have you tried yoga?

If your answer is no: Are you lost? How did you end up reading this far? Finally and most importantly, have you time-traveled here from the 1950's? Or perhaps you're a British woman from the 17th century and your corset has cut off the oxygen flow to your brain so that you just can't seem to think straight. I'll excuse you if this is the case because you just don't know any better yet.

However, if you don't have a good excuse (and misogynistic reasons are not good excuses) for not believing in equal human rights for all humans, I really only have one thing to say to you: "Pull your fuckin socks up!" (Nanette).